letters to june reads & media
the things i read and consumed in june
did we share any? xoxo
books📚
I couldn’t get into reading much this month, especially due to our family emergency — but here’s a list of what I’m slowly working through, too: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, The Fall of Roe: The Rise of a New America by Elizabeth Dias and Lisa Lerer, The Way We Never Were: American Families & the Nostalgia Trap by Stephanie Coontz, The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir (I have been reading this for 5 months, lol), and Devotions, a collection of Mary Oliver poems.
The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd🎧
5.0 stars
“When I am dust, sing these words over my bones: she was a voice.”
This book is a gripping re-imagining of the New Testament, told from the point of view of Jesus' wife, Ana, who feels that her calling is to record and share stories that are overlooked - often the stories of women. The author left evangelical Christianity and found her way to Jungian psychology and the Divine Feminine. Much of the book is factual and/or based on events and writing from the Bible and other writings of the time. It was also partially based on the actual text called, "The Thunder, Perfect Mind," which the author attributes to Ana in the novel. A snippet of the text: "I am shame and boldness. I am shameless; I am ashamed. I am strength and I am fear. I am war and peace." The novel also contains references to the Christian goddess Sophia.
“I am the whore and the holy woman, I am the wife and the virgin”
The book is such a beautiful story of a young woman rebelling against patriarchy, refusing to be sold into marriage, and following her longing to have a voice. It's a story of true love and also one of her knowing herself. It was incredibly well-written. I also loved the reminder that Jesus was undoubtedly a radical. Some believe he was a human, some believe he was the literal son of a god, but what cannot be refuted is that he was a political activist who used every part of himself to spread love, fairness, and equality. He was non-violent and believed that the rich who hoarded wealth were unethical. Today, we look at these activists who proclaim the same things as ungodly. This was a beautiful reminder that to be like Jesus is to make trouble.
“Return to your longing. It will teach you everything.”
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
4.5 stars
This was such a beautiful depiction of grief and how devastating it can feel. Poor Joan, I cannot imagine going through all the tragedy she went through all at once. She described the journey of grief in a perfectly fragmented and disorienting way, and I felt so deeply seen by it. Didion wrote, “Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life. Virtually everyone who has ever experienced grief mentions this phenomenon of “waves.” Nothing is linear, and all feelings come cyclically, but there is something so unique about the waves of grief. This book was different that CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed, but also very similar in concept.
I love that Didion also touched on the feelings of self-pity. She wrote, “People in grief think a great deal about self-pity. We worry it, dread it, scourge our thinking for signs of it. We fear that our actions will reveal the condition tellingly described as 'dwelling on it.’” This is so true— especially because people in our lives actively make us feel this way. Honestly, I have never quite forgiven the people who made me feel like I was just pitying myself in those early months. To make a grieving person feel like a burden, when they already feel like a burden, is probably one of the cruelest things someone can do.
My favorite quote of the book, and one that Didion returns to in different ways: “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.”
What was incredibly ironic was that I finished this book the day before we had our family emergency, and I thought of and repeated this word often. We woke up one morning and the biggest worry was which coffee pod to put in the Nespresso, and by the end of the day, we were worried our loved one was dead.
“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect the shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be "healing." A certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to "get through it," rise to the occasion, exhibit the "strength" that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death. We anticipate needing to steel ourselves the for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief was we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.”
The Fall Risk by Abby Jimenez🎧
5.0 stars
This was so precious! I love Abby Jimenez's books, and I just discovered the Audible series of short love stories. Julia Whelan, my queen, was the FMC's narrator. I love how Jimenez blends serious topics with light rom-com love. Great and quick read or listen!
The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration Into the Wonder of Consciousness by Sy Montgomery
DNF @ pg 100
I was increasingly disappointed and disturbed that the writing of the perspective of capturing octopuses and caging them was hardly presented with any moral concern - only appearing twice in the entirety of the text. The idea of buying an octopus as a pet is an exciting opportunity, one the author only decided against because her husband wouldn't like it. I was optimistic that the only reason the octopuses at the aquarium were there for rehabilitation, or something similar, but it became obvious that they were only there to be observed and gawked at. Yes, the human connection is beautiful, and I believe that most of them truly did love connecting with the humans, but does that overshadow the fact that they are well-loved prisoners, who are described as trying desperately to escape?? I don't think so. I looked up reviews of the book 100 pages in (a little shy of 50%) to see if it got "better" in that regard, and it does not. It is well-written and beautiful, I just can't get past the ethics.
articles i loved📄
The Thunder, Perfect Mind — this is the poem referenced in The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd!
Faith.exe: The Gospel According to ChatGPT by
“Where abrahamic religions promise their devotees a better afterlife, Chat-GPT offers a remedy right now, allowing us to conceptualise our heaven on earth, even as it appears to combust in a hellish flame. What remains consistent in both instances between traditional religion and a modern, cyber-spirituality, is a desperate attempt to escape the pain that is being acutely aware of the conditions to our existence. Unlike Christianity, Islam or Judaism however, Chat-GPT’s solution based approach appears to bridge the gap between the more mystical concept of faith and the human inclination to seek empirical evidence, hence the appearance of Chat-GPT induced religious psychosis in a seemingly secular western world.”
“the truth is, you don’t need to live in the woods to need quiet. you don’t have to own a bookstore to want to be left alone. you don’t need to raise goats to crave a slower rhythm. these desires are not niche or aesthetic. they’re human. and you’re allowed to have them without turning them into a brand. you’re allowed to want softness without needing to justify it.”
Are we always the stories we tell about ourselves? by
self care rituals for a burnt out nervous system by — quickly became one of my fave reads!
“aestheticism, to me, has nothing to do with superficiality. it is not about taste. it is not about appearing interesting or refined or particular. it is about the impulse to treat the world gently and notice the details that so many people move too quickly to see. it is a way of resisting numbness and refusing to let life become flat or standardized or efficient to the point of erasure. to care about beauty is to care about perception itself. it is to say, again and again, that what we feel matters.”
why is everybody such a c*nt by
“It feels like being a morally good person yields no rewards, while the morally corrupt face little to no consequences. The government cuts aid, communities have eroded, and everyone is left fending for themselves. Everybody is trying to be the winner of capitalism instead of fighting the very system that leaves them in a cycle of debt and social isolation. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of if everybody is doing it, I will too. Despair breeds more despair, and now everybody and their mom is a fucking cunt.”
You go first by
“She was right, I was there, but when the talking hour ended, she was the first to leave. That evening, it was pasta. I had told her I didn’t really like pesto, twice I said that. When I sat on her chipped wooden chair while she talked and fixed me a plate, she said ‘I got this amazing pesto recipe, I think you’ll love it’.”
“Everybody cheers for the girl on top of the mountain but no one can convince her that she really climbed it.”
The subtle art of giving a FUCK by
“You are allowed to care; in fact, you should. Caring is important, passion is important, so care about local, national, and international politics. Care about art in all its forms, care about food, and discover new recipes constantly. Care about your friends and their mundane lives (yours is mundane too, I assure you), care about your family and your pets. Don’t be afraid to pet a dog outside, appreciate the sun on your face on a cloudless day, take a bite of a juicy ripe apple, and care about all of this. Care about the little moments too, because if you ignore them, you’re just missing out on what makes life so interesting and beautiful.”
the quiet list - things to help you pause and think by
how to get your life back together by
dark summer by
“This summer, I want to embrace solitude and privacy and quietness. Look out at the sunlight from the shade instead of standing in it, letting it burn. I want to look at the reflective surface of a pond or pool, feel the iciness of the water as I dip my hand below, reaching for new things in its depths.”
this summer, i want to feel human again by
Advice for Making Life More Whimsical & Joyful by
podcasts🎤
youtube💻
i'm a bit late, but thank you for including me here! also will definitely check out your recommendations, what a lovely list💚
what a beautiful article i adore your thoughtfulness and presence to the things you consume!! thank you so so much for mentioning me, it’s an honor to have you as a reader🥹 sending love!!