letters to july
your guide to this month - even if you hate summer xoxo
july: the month of the hottest days of the year, family vacations, early morning walks, iced everything, cocktails on the patio, bare feet in the grass, mosquito bites, cool showers instead of warm baths, pool parties with frozen pizza, lemonades with vodka, lip gloss, ice cream, karaoke, pasta salads, chipped butter yellow manicures, hammocks in the breeze, and windows open at night.
also july: melancholy, fatigue, broken A/Cs, being stuck in the office, fans that never seem to work, irritation, sweating through all the sports bras we own, the crunchy feeling of being constantly a little dehydrated despite drinking water, finding spiders in the corners, and persistent headaches.
i’ve always hated summer. i think it started when i was younger, when i was cooped up at home with my mother all summer long; to say having to spend day after day without any break or relief with my abuser was horrible would be an understatement. when i was in high school, my boyfriend that i was with would always go to his dad’s house and work on the farm, so even when i was old enough to weasel out of the house, there was not much to do or anywhere to go. i would usually just end up taking college classes online to give me something to do (this did pay off when i went to actual college, though).
in college, i usually worked the same summer job in the housing department, where i was on call during the nights and organized linens and cleaned rooms during the days. i didn’t dislike this job at all — i got free housing for the summers and made great friends; it’s actually how i met my husband! but it was still overwhelming, as i continued taking classes and got drained by the heat as i marched from one side of campus to the other to run various errands.
after college, i just felt generally melancholic and down during the summers, my energy completely zapped, my limbs heavy, my social battery depleted. it seemed like we went through hard summer after another; my husband’s estranged family member not only came back into his life, but came into his life again because he had cancer and was dying — while living part-time with us! of course, last year, my mother passed away, and then this year, we have another family member in the hospital that we are trying to take care of. summers just haven’t been my thing, it seems.
but, ever since i put extra effort into living seasonally and embracing each season, i’ve noticed a couple of things:
once i stopped resisting and dreading summer, and just giving in to it, it didn’t last as long for me (mentally, of course, it still lasted foreverrrr literally, lol)
when i switched my focus to honoring each season, i stopped putting the seasons in a hierarchy — fall remains my favorite, of courseeeee, but i began to see each season as a chapter of the year that brought its own unique and beautiful medicine and energy
so, for the girlies that hate summer, or for the ones who like it, here is my proposed plan to live fully in july.
july is the month for watching the sunrises and sunsets, going to the farmer’s markets on saturday mornings, slurping down iced lattes at a local coffee shop, watching a rom com in a theater, reading your favorite books (maybe even re-reading), watching easy and fun TV shows, buying a new dress at the thrift store and paring it with sandals and a bandana, drifting around tj maxx during your lunch area, visiting the river, wearing a lot of sunscreen and getting burned anyway, starting a new puzzle while you listen to a silly podcast or cozy audiobook, cooking pasta while watching a youtube video, and hours of playlists playing in the background.
the vibe for this july:
your bucket list for july
and remember, schedule these things in!! the most helpful way for me to remember to carve out time for seasonal and intentional activities is to plan it.
go to the movie theater: you can either go see a new movie, or you probably have a theater in your area that also plays older movies / movies that have been released a while ago. i have watched dirty dancing, la la land, bridesmaids, breakfast at tiffany’s, mamma mia, and the big three norah ephron movies at a theater in my town. i am also tempted to go see the materialists, because… it’s literally a bisexual’s dream cast..???!!
ps - going to the theater alone can be really fun! i don’t usually have anyone to go with me to the movies, so i go alone most of the time. it’s actually so fun.
go to the library (again): yes, this was a part of june’s bucket list. and, yes, you should go to the library in july! free books, free movies, free magazines, free museum tickets, and sometimes even free events! also, libraries are under attack, and the best way to support your local library is to get a library card, even if you don’t use it. also, the majority of audiobooks are available through libby, which is attached to your library. if your library doesn’t have it, you can request it, and 90% of everything i have requested is usually purchased within a month.
read one “summer read”: if you like romance, check out literally any of emily henry’s books (both the audio and physical versions are perfection), or the part of your world series by abby jimenez. other ideas:
the honey witch by sydney shields
the hidden lives of trees by peter wohlleben
emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries by heather fawcett
the unmaking of june farrow by adrienne young
nature by ralph waldo emerson
devotions: the selected poems of mary oliver
a most agreeable murder by julia sales
swim: a pool, a lake, a river, a pond, the ocean, or even a grocery store kiddie pool in the backyard. find a way to put on a bathing suit and hop in!
barbeque / a gathering outside: you don’t have to celebrate july 4th if you don’t want to — i probably won’t, unless someone invites me to a party with free food… and even then, it won’t be with an american spirit… however, try and host or attend a gathering with food outside this month! even if you don’t have a grill, get the stuff for sandwiches and have people in your backyard, porch, or even a park. no matter where this gathering happens, or who hosts it, i recommend the following staples:
chips and dip
some sort of cold salad: pasta, potato, etc
lemonade
pie
some sort of game
protest: you don’t have to attend a protest in person, if you are not in the position to do that, for whatever reason. financial protesting is a highly effective way to protest! you can also choose to write letters to representatives. however you decide to use your voice is fine — just use it.
donate: go through your closet and donate the clothes you don’t wear anymore. if financially able, don’t sell your clothes, if possible. donate them to a shelter, a friend, post it on your local Buy Nothing facebook group (these are amazing!), or give it to a thrift store. you can also choose to buy $10 worth of canned food at the dollar tree and drop it off at the food shelter, or make a pack of tampons, toothpaste, lip balm, and baby wipes and donate it to a woman’s shelter — or even just an unhoused woman you encounter. keep water bottles in your car, or even make little gift bags with water, hydration packets, mouthwash, and granola bars for when you see an unhoused person at the stop light. set up a recurring $5 donation to go to a charity of your choice, or donate even a small amount to a mutual aid fund. lastly, you can donate your time. walk dogs at the animal shelter, help your elderly neighbor clean up their yard, volunteer at a food bank, get trained to volunteer at a crisis center, or look at your city’s website to see if there are one-off opportunities to help.
text your friends/family one thing you are grateful for every day, and encourage them to do the same with you!
try one new flavor of ice cream. i recently had matcha ice cream… it was so good.
make a bouquet from flowers from trader joe’s, or another cheap store, and gift it to someone who you think would feel touched by it. bonus points if you include a card with a heartfelt note or a poem.
comment your july bucket list below! and, let us know how june went. <3
