letters to self-respect

“the dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others - who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation… which is something people with courage can do without.” — joan didion, on self-respect

a voice memo inspired by joan didion’s essay, on self-respect and my own quest to find integrity and discernment.

“It is the phenomenon sometimes called "alienation from self." In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves, there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.”— joan didion, on self-respect

If you would like to ask your own question, please use this form to do so!

“people with self-respect have the courage of their mistakes, they know the price of things. if they choose to commit adultery, they do not then go running, in an access of bad conscience, to receive absolution from the wronged parties; nor do they complain unduly of unfairness… people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve… what was once called character…. character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life - is the source from which self-respect springs.” — joan didion, on self-respect

“we flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion go please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give… no expectation is too misplaced, no role too ludicrous. at the mercy of those we cannot but hold on contempt, we play roles doomed in failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us.”— joan didion, on self-respect